Sunday was Valentine’s Day, so I thought we might spend some time this week on the subject of love.
Day One, For love is strong as death… Song of Solomon 8:6; Today’s text provides a clear idea of the effect of real, lasting love on people. The beginning of a successful marriage or the healing of a wounded one comes when we realize that real love means the death of a prior life, as well as our self interest and the birth of a new focus and direction. Successful marriages often require dying to old single friends in order to form new friendships with other couples (no more “my friends” and “your friends”, just OUR Friends). It means dying to always having your way (successful marriages require each party give in 60% of the time). It requires letting old hurts and wounds die so that love can continue to grow. It requires dying to one lifestyle in order that a new one can be born.
Day Two, Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. Song of Solomon 8:7; Several years ago I counseled with a couple who were having major marital problems. After listening to his litany of complaints, I asked, “Don, if she’s that bad why did you marry her in the first place?” I then rephrased everything bad he said about her in the most unflattering terms possible. He immediately became hostile and started defending his wife. This was a breakthrough moment for them as both discovered that in spite of the bad things that had happened in their marriage and the hurtful words and deeds, love was much deeper than the wounds they had inflicted on each other.
Day Three, Your head crowns you like (Mount) Carmel, your flowing locks are like purple; a king is held captive in the tresses. Song of Solomon 7:5; One of the biggest killers of “love” in marriage is negative thinking. It is easy to focus on our partner’s shortcomings (having been married for over 35 years, I speak from experience). The husband leaves for work thinking “she burned the toast again, the house is a mess, she looks like she’s gained 10 pounds overnight…” The wife, who is running late trips over his underwear (which he thoughtfully left in the middle of the floor) and begins thinking “That moron can’t pick anything up, he doesn’t lift a finger to help me, didn’t even appreciate breakfast…” These thoughts set the theme for the way we think about each other all day long. Is it any wonder that by the end of the day the stage is set for an evening of either snipping at one another or icy silence? Countering negative thoughts immediately with positive ones can go a long way to creating a more peaceful, happy home life.4
Day Four, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. First Corinthians 13:4-7; In it’s context, Paul is contrasting the type of love that should be found among Christians to the way certain people in the Corinthian church were acting toward one another. But beyond that is found a very sound definition of the type of love we should model before our family, coworkers and friends. In its essence, love is really a lifestyle that we choose to adopt. It is a manifestation of the image we hold of ourselves and mirrors our real personality to all around us. The lifestyle of love is one that doesn’t allow problems to cause us to quickly become angry or irritable, it doesn’t allow us to dwell on minor slights until we become resentful, nor does it always seek for the hidden agenda of others or personal advantage in the situations of life.
Day Five, The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8; Everyone has some principle that dictates the way they prioritize activities, shapes their thinking and forms their values. As children of God our ultimate principle should be to live in awareness of God’s goodness and discover, develop and dedicate our natural abilities for His glory and not just our own benefit. When we live by this principle we find that circumstances evolve in ways that enable us to become instruments of His love, grace and salvation.
Day Six, They left everything and followed him. Luke
