October 25 through 31, 2009

Day One, Proverbs 18:1; The one who lives alone is self-indulgent, showing contempt for all who have sound judgment. When we think of self-indulgent people we usually think of someone who gives in to every appetite they have. We also classify them as self-centered, egotistical and selfish. Over the years, I’ve heard such people referred to as “being in love with themselves” or people with “too much self-esteem”. It has been my experience that most of the time, the self indulgent person has a lack of basic self-esteem, not too much of it. Sure, they put on a bold front, their every act is designed to elevate their sense of importance. They live in self contained little worlds carefully constructed to make them feel like the center of their own universe. But deep down they are fearful, often unsure of themselves and who they really are. When we have a close relationship with our Heaven Father, our sense of self is transformed and we are able to break out of the world we have designed to protect us because we know that as children of Almighty God we have not only a birthright, but an obligation to not only grow in grace but to challenge the self-imposed limitations of inferiority and timidity that made us self-serving sinners.

Day Two, Proverbs 18:9; One who is slack at work is close kin to a vandal. My wife arrived at her office early one morning to find the building owner waiting for her. The previous night someone had broken into the building, kicked in all the office doors and generally created havoc. The items they stole (with the exception of one computer from a neighbor) were really insignificant—they took a cheap mirror, some postage, change, a small nine inch screen television and a PDA from my wife’s office—but it took her all day to sort through the mess, determine exactly what was missing and try to get things back in order. She basically lost an entire day of business because of these vandals. When something like this happens, feelings of shock, outrage, frustration and vulnerability are the order of the day (and the days following the event), and understandable so. But how many times do we vandalize ourselves and our careers by not doing our best or even making an honest effort? I was telling a friend about it and he said he knew just how she felt. He then explained that he was running the same emotions because he hadn’t adequately prepared for a presentation and as a result lost a contract. He had not paid proper attention to his work, and now felt angry with himself, frustrated and vulnerable (because he needed the commission to pay his bills). One way to have less stress, more happiness and satisfaction in life is to always ask ourselves, “What’s the best use of my time at this particular moment” and act on the answer.

Day Three, Proverbs 18:12; Before destruction one’s heart is haughty, but humility goes before honor. Over the years, I’ve had several employees that for one reason or another I had to terminate. But in the final analysis, I would not hesitate to say that the number one reason most of them were fired had to do with their inability to accept coaching to improve their performance. No matter how well intended or how much it is deserved, criticism of our performance can hurt. But it is part of life, and most people have learned to take it, adapt the suggestions made and become better employees and people because of it. Those who become defensive and haughty are usually the ones who find themselves out in the cold. What does this have to do with this verse? It strikes at the heart of its meaning because humility refers to having a teachable spirit. According to a large body of research, most of the problems we encounter are the result of our having ignored our internal critic—that something God has placed within all of us that tells us not only when we’ve done wrong, but that we can do better. In addition to this mechanism, the Good Lord has built into people a sense of justice that dictates that unless that which is wrong is fixed, it must be punished. When we argue with our internal critic long enough, the subconscious desire for justice kicks in and we find ourselves engaging in self defeating behaviors as a means of seeking some form of punishment (One of the most fascinating books on this subject that I have read is Man Against Himself by Karl Menninger). So it’s not just in our relationships and at work that the forerunner of “destruction” is arrogance and defiance when confronted with our deficiencies, it applies even more when it comes to that still small voice buried in our minds.

Day Four, Proverbs 18:16; A gift opens doors; it gives access to the great. I once knew a retired gentleman who was an executive for an international firm. He made many trips to the Middle East during his career and he always carried a briefcase full of cash. Why? Because that’s the way business is done over there! And that’s the way it has been done there since Biblical times. Now, in our society, bribes can land a person in jail, but there are other “gifts” we give that will open doors for us—and they don’t really cost us anything. These gifts include a smile, common courtesies, kind words, sincere praise and expressions of appreciation; these will go far in opening the doors for better relationships and new opportunities.

Day Five, Proverbs 18:24; Some friends play at friendship, but a true friend sticks closer than one’s kin. I recently had lunch with a person with whom I’ve done business for several years. He is always “friendly” when he calls, ask all the right questions, shows an interest those things that I am interested in, etc. Like most of us, he knows how to play the friendship game to advance his agenda (not necessarily a bad thing). Then there are people that I know with whom my wife and enjoy going to dinner and getting caught up on what’s been going on in each other’s lives. We all crave human interaction and in our increasingly impersonal world, it is important that we are able to make the distinction between these types of relationships. Much of the disappointment that I hear voiced by people begins with “I thought he was my friend but…” Once we realize that not every relationship we have, whether in church, at work or socially will blossom into a close friendship, we close the door on much of the frustration and heartache that comes from not understanding this basic law of relationships.

Day Six, Proverbs 19:8; To get wisdom is to love oneself; to keep understanding is to prosper. The word that is translated “wisdom” in this verse differs from other uses of the word because in this instance it refers to a willingness (or courage) to be true to ones convictions and to act on ones beliefs. This doesn’t give us a license to be like a bull in a china shop, because the rest of the verse reminds us to use common sense in “being true to our convictions” and when “acting on our beliefs”. As the Contemporary English Version translates this verse, Do yourself a favor by having good sense, you will be glad you did.

Day Seven, Proverbs 19:20; Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future. Have you ever noticed that everyone has an opinion, and that the cheapest thing in the world is advice? But that doesn’t necessarily mean that we should discount or ignore what other people tell us. We learn from doing, but also from assimilating ideas and concepts that other people share with us. To grow spiritually, personally and professionally, seek out mentors and people who have the experience and success you desire, have a teachable spirit and learn from them. It will pay dividends for many years to come.